I Have Learned a Lesson: Don't Write From Anger and Frustration

There it is, right in the title. I give it over to the Lord, ask intercession from the Blessed Mother, and I write blog entries like I never asked them to help me. Unreal. I feel ashamed.

From the first blog entry a couple of months ago, I described myself as someone who tries very hard to live up to the Christian expectation of me (through the Catholic Church, specifically, in my case) and how I fail to meet the standards set. In some cases, yes, I do live up to them.

As I said 100 times in my book, I am the luckiest person on earth; blessed beyond belief, really. I want everyone to have what I had: a clean, sober cultural environment in which to grow. I know how it shaped me. Look, it was not Ozzie and Harriet at home, in any sense. But at the core of who we were culturally, it seemed to transcend any immediate shortcomings. If I did not grow up with the Von Trapp family itself, how potentially great could it be for everyone else who had better than I, which is what I really wish for? It is like saying why do you preach, in a word, the virtues of your particular faith tradition? Because I know what it does for me and I want everyone to have it. It is out of love for you -- everyone out there -- not to sound better than anyone. I know this is not always perceived as I want it.

So, I am stating for the record, when I go on about the culture or my faith, it is because I know what it did for me, a person unworthy of these gifts. And I say that as a humble thing, not to beg pardon or have anyone say no, we really love you; don't be so hard on yourself. It is not an act, but something of real substance to me.

I am distressed by the last blog entry because it did not reflect the theme of this blog: Christian love and the healing, supportive hand of Christ. Now you know it really is about love, though it came out as vitriol. I am so sorry about this. I could have deleted it, and wanted to, but at my own expense, I wanted to share a lesson I have learned. Part of which is this:

~ give it over to God and mean it.

~ pray for the Blessed Mother's intercession and mean it. After all, Jesus Himself conferred this status upon Her.

~ pray for understanding ... and wait for the result. Patiently. It is all in good hands.

~ have Faith and mean it. You preach it enough.

I wavered, and I am sorry. I will try to be clearer in my presentations in the future and be guided by the guide of whom I asked favor. That blog entry does not reflect my intention, as you can see and I regret subjecting the reader to it (both of you ...). The only answer is Christ, in all things.

And I forgot to remember it. I ask in prayer: let me reflect You in all things.

The only Utopia available to us. Nothing happens without His will. If things turn out differently than what I want, it is because He wants it this way. Why do I forget this elemental aspect of my faith? I am shamed of myself yet again. Please pray for me to grow, and refect my love for Christ. Your prayers are most welcome, and I will do the same for you.

God Bless you,
KJPrice