The Forest and the Trees

I'll bet God is sick of me asking what He has in store for me. I say this tongue in cheek, but I also ... keep asking. My life, on its surface, has become a complete mystery to me. I am trying to live it, pray as I can and just let it go on with God's grace. Sounds so simple.

It isn't, for me, at least.

In my last entry, I mentioned letting go and not letting ridiculous, transitory emotions get the best of me. So much for that arrogance. They got to me but good. I can't explain it. I have asked God to explain His plan to me and why this crucible?. He has, in small segments. I accept His plan, the revelation of all this. It may have already happened, but I have not seen it yet. I may not ever or for a very long time. It will, I know, become clear to me. I am not a patient person and my faith -- my turning over myself -- doesn't always happen easily. I regret being so unwilling. I have always had thoughts or emotions that cut both ways. I may not even understand myself or why this is. It is, and I accept it. Maybe the Greeks wrote something about this idiosyncracy? Since I am no different than anyone else, which is a humbling thought, maybe I need to look at this, being the same as everyone else.

Part of the plan was me being flat on my back for 8 weeks (approx) with a major eye problem. So, look at this: no job, laying down, time to think too much, healing very slowly (still am). Talk about a chain of events unsuited to my personality. "He maketh me to lie down in green pastures beside still waters". Now I know what that really means; He makes me. No way I would have done this on my own. So, this event, like everything else in my life, has a purpose.

Faith, which comes by Grace, is a truly beautiful thing. Maybe this is a large part of the experience? The Love that comes from Grace? The utter belief? Faith in the plan. Wavering is OK. Tidal wavering is not OK. There are trees in that forest and I can see some of them.

I have my family who need me desperately and I, most assuredly, them. I have a new addition named Sammy. I have friends that love me. I have friends I love and care about and I draw a lot of good feeling from this. Being there in any capacity for them is a very rewarding thing. I have a great spiritual advisor, Bro. Tom Juneman. I have Jesus. He loves me, too. Now, I have to love Him back by following His lead. The rest will fall into place. Keep to the example; the blessing will abundantly follow.

God bless,
KJPrice